Pain demands to be felt.
People always get used to beauty, though.
The world is not a wish-granting factory.
Sometimes it seems the universe wants to be noticed.
Some infinites are bigger than other infinites.
Writing does not resurrect. It buries.
Aaahh. John Green never failed to fascinate me always. Lots of my tears were spent after reading his TFioS book. Ugh, I mean PDF. 🙂 Getting excited for his first movie! 🙂
All I ever wanted is to be with you.
To eat three meals a day with you.
To sleep and cuddle all night with you.
To walk from the grocery to my house with you.
To sit in the swings on the park with you.
To eat my favorite ice cream with you.
To talk endless on the phone with you.
To travel along places with you.
To have such wonderful memories with you.
But what can I do?
If I am here, buried six-feet on the ground without you.
On my entire life, I had been living through books; every day passes by like leafing each pages, every person I’ve met represents the various characters I’ve read and imagined, every situation happened was the same with every scene I’ve fancied in every story, and the happy endings as much as the depressing and heartbreaking ones all happen. But last week, just as I was to go to my class and I came to pass through a group of students, there was this lone truth I just realized. I am not only living within books, but also I exist in the real world.
Never in my life have I encountered a couple kissing in public, especially when the two of them are both guys. I am aware that such relationships exist and I am okay with it. It’s just that I am not accustomed on those things, and I am only familiar through books itself. I am totally in shocked after seeing them. I didn’t know how to react well so I’d promised that I’ll write it down and think of it myself.
The real world is comprised of different people just as the imaginary characters in books. The only difference is that in books, you tend to let your creative mind to picture everything you read and that it is normal for such things to happen because you’re only imagining it; yet in a real world, you do not expect these images you conceived of to happen vividly, instead you reconsider events to occur when there’s a seemingly fitting time for it to happen, considering it will.
Now, I told myself to be release from the boundless life I’ve been living for the past sixteen years, and to consider settling in the real world where all things happen not on my creative imaginations but in actual.
Once I stayed up late at night wondering things, just like every other night. Staring up the ceiling, I recognized frantic tiny spiders disturbed by my long hands agitatedly running here and there in search of safe haven. Hearing echoes of crickets’ sound matching the sweet noises of raindrops by the window served as pleasing melodies to my ears. Unwelcomed cold winds brought tingling sensations which gently numb my body and made me cover myself tightly with my blanket. My roommates’ outbreath reminded me of their deep sleep satisfaction which I should also be doing. But here I am, wide-awake, thinking of those times where you’re still mine and our relationship’s still working out; those times which I treasured and I am sure that you’ve now forgotten. Sitting beside me in our favorite corner of that room where I first said ‘yes’, holding each other’s hands, sharing childhood memories, laughing and smiling to that joke which you’ve always repeated over and over again, having our own world, and not minding people around us which annoyingly tease us for being lovebirds. I am indeed sorry for what I’ve caused and now that I want you back, it is impossible – I know. You’re having such blissful time and feeling contented with her now. I can also sense that every time you’re with her, you are in your very high spirits which affects me upsettingly. Here I am feeling sorry for myself for wrecking our relationship apart, and I did not even give you any second chances after. I am all mad and furious and cruel at the same time. The worst part? Lying about the lone reason why I have to give up on you and broke us apart. Sorry. I am truly sorry.
But time can’t be reversed. I’ll always be here staring at a distance while imagining things that are supposed to happen for our future. Here I am foolishly hugging my pillow, thinking of you this late at night.
Sorry for being lazy for the past few months. Life in college is just really hard and complicated that you need to sacrifice everything to do it right. Ugh… So, I want to share this simple poem I’d created last week. Hope you’ll like it!
Day by day, letters are passed onto each other.
Updating events happened on one another.
Feelings and emotions revealed in their tiny notebook.
Their love continues to grow in every cranny and nook.
Time gets complicated and blew up their relationship.
Ending their miserable exchanges with friendship.
Love subsided and failed the two.
-end-
I am still wondering the how’s and why’s of Dan Brown as he described Manila as the ‘Gates of Hell’. Trying not to be subjective at all since I am from the Philippines itself, Manila is not as ridiculously bad as Dan established in the first place. There are just these slum areas wherein the government could not barely managed to sustain enough. Also, Manila is the capital thus there are several nice spots for the tourists. It can be that bad, you know…
Just got a PDF copy of Inferno. I’ll post the rest after reading it for sure
You must be the change you wish to see in the world. -Mahatma Gandhi
It is truly ourselves who define what the world needs thus, changing it into what we love to happen or to see must do so. This is one of the most remembering and one of my favorite quotes I’ve read.
1. Listening to your friends will eventually make you happy. Thanks to Chayen for sharing 8tracks.com to me. Hahaha. Felt really great after listening to some playlists there.
2. Minding your own and not minding others around will make you feel comfortable somehow. Had great time listening to music and doing stuffs I’m supposed to do.
3. Having blogs to expressed your thoughts. Just like what I’m doing right now. Also, having everyone appreciate what you’ve blogged.
Penny for my thoughts. Don’t mind this honestly. Haha. Good night.
This photo by Dody Kusuma honestly deserved to win the National Geographic Photo Contest this year. I really loved how he/she captured the droplets of water by his/her camera lens. How I wish I too could capture such beautiful and worth-remembering moments like this.
Keeping Track 